Manifestation moonshine

I encountered an advert today, for a 7-day manifestation course.

The vendor (more of that later: apparently manifestation spirituality is for sale) claimed authority on the basis of having been to lots of countries, having been 'at it' for a long time, having worked as something fancy in finance (apparently that gives one a step up), and spending a lot of time with 'shamanic tribes' (NB tribes might have shamans, but that does not render them a 'shamanic tribe', per se). He's acquainted with the 'Truth' (capital 'T': the advert did not go into details about this; I guess you have to sign up and click through to the PayPal screen), and he will help you manifest stuff in your life. Then there was some boloney about vibrations (measured using what device?) on frequencies (what frequencies?) and how we need to vibrate on the same frequencies as 'nature' (does all nature vibrate on the same frequencies? Nettles? Cockroaches? The Russian President [he, after all, is a naturally occurring phenomenon]? Joan Collins? A battery hen?)

You can pay a three-figure sum (with an oddly precise number of pence, as well) for being let into the secret of how to manifest on this plane.

Is this spiritual?

Well, the chap appears to have found a way of manifesting three-figure sums in his life, so no problems reconciling materiality with spirituality there.

But what's the philosophy?

It's this:

I'm not OK. I'm not OK because I'm in the wrong place; I'm with the wrong people; I don't have the thing. You're not OK without the thing. If you don't get the thing, you won't be OK. So you need to get the thing. Then you'll be OK. And the thing, because it's material, must be taken away from someone else; if I go somewhere, I displace someone else. This is just reconfiguring the stack of coins, and making sure I end up with more than you.

Basically: Big Baby Wants, and what Big Baby Wants, Big Baby Gets, and it's OK, because it's natural, and spiritual, etc.

I'll tell you what my experience is: selfishness, vanity, greed, 'stuff', personal ambition, personal dreams, anything with me at the centre of it is a disaster.

Dress up selfishness with a botoxed face and a waterfall backdrop, and it's still selfishness.

I tell you who my hero was: Spiritual Paul. He lived in a council flat in Poplar, had Bible quotations on Post-It Notes all over his bathroom wall, and drove disabled kids in a bus for a living. Happy as Larry, and maybe the most useful and inspiring man in East London AA.

When you're happy and you know it, clap your hands, because you're fine right here right now, and there is no need to manifest shit.